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Things Your Girlfriends with Kids Don’t Tell You—Until You Join the Club
Back in my carefree childless days—we’re talking a couple decades ago, because I’m a Geriatric Millennial and an older first-time mom (a.k.a. an advanced maternal)—my girlfriends who had children were a little bit of a mystery to me. Not unlike an international student studying abroad, when I was in their world, I didn’t quite speak…
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BABY-ARMOR™ Executive Infant Protection System
Why baby proof your home when you can armor your baby? Pregnant at 39? You didn’t climb the corporate ladder and curate a West Elm-worthy home just to live in a foam-padded college dorm. Why should YOU adapt when clearly the baby should learn to navigate your investment pieces? Introducing the BABY-ARMOR™ Executive Infant Protection…
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The 6 Stages of Toddler Sleep Training When You’re an Older Mom (Spoiler: Denial Comes First)
At 40-something, I thought I’d mastered the art of looking put-together. Then my three-year-old decided sleep was optional, and now I’m Googling “Is wearing two different shoes a cry for help?” Okay, let’s dive into the six stages of sleep training (or, in my case, re-training a toddler). Few things in life are more humbling…
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Dreaded Job Interview Questions for Older Parents (and How Not to Answer Them)
[And how NOT to answer them] Job interviews are stressful for everyone—but for working parents in their 40s juggling toddlers and t-ball, they’re practically a contact sport. If you’re navigating a career shift with young kids in tow, here are the interview questions we all dread—and exactly how not to answer them. Q: “We generally…
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Leaking Milk and Confidence: My Postpartum Interview Disaster
Job Interview Tips for New Moms (That You Won’t Find on LinkedIn) The scene: An empty public restroom in the building where I hope to work. In a freshly pressed, new, roomier postpartum pantsuit, I’m staring at my chest in the mirror. After artfully (I think) inserting a tissue wrapped absorbent pad into my bra…
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Scene from a Marriage #2: Pillow Talk
Editor’s note: This mini-post about how new parents in their 40s and how parenting affects intimacy is best read aloud, if you can. Bonus points if you bravely perform the scene from your cubicle. Two Exhausted Late-in-Life Parents Attempt Intimacy After a day of emergency diaper changes, negotiating with a toddler who insisted peas were…
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Mom Squad Text Chain #1: Hot Flashes and Hot Yoga
[08:55 AM] Me: Alright, I’m about to try something for the first time and I might not survive. [8:56 AM] Winsome Jane*: Sky-diving? [8:57 AM] Chaos Cathy*: Preschool drop-off? [8:58 AM] Me: Hot yoga. Send your thoughts and prayers my way please. [8:59 AM] Chaos Cathy: You’re brave. Regular yoga makes my perimenopausal body nearly…
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Preschool Incident Report: No Booty-Shaking Allowed
What to expect from preschool behavior reports, and how to stay calm when your toddler starts a dance party scandal. The first time your child’s preschool teacher asks you to review and sign an incident report, it can be a little concerning. Once you realize they write up an incident report for every small scrape…
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Scene from a Marriage #1: The Interrupted Conversation
(aka Parenting in Your 40s) Me, to my Spouse (enthusiastically): “So, I was listening to this podcast today, and the author being interviewed was just so powerful—what she said about midlife transitions really hit home…” Kiddo (with the urgency of someone announcing a five-alarm fire): “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY.” Me, to my Spouse (holding up one finger): “Hold…
