(a.k.a. “Advanced Maternal Studies in Chaos & Calcium Supplements”)
The best way to approach your 40s? With a healthy dose of self-deprecation and hilarious memes. Especially if you’re an older parent of young children.
Fellow Geriatric Millennials and Exennials: we know you love a good meme.
So after you get the kids down to sleep (don’t worry—we’ll wait), make yourself a cheese plate for one. Grab a second LaCroix (if you’re going hard tonight) or treat yourself to a glass of wine with an ice cube. It’s okay. Jacques Pépin once said so.
Oh, one of the offspring desperately needs another story/water/monster check? Totally fine. We’ll save your spot.
Oh—and did you need to pee before we start? Probably a good idea. These memes are funny, and we don’t want any laugh-leaks.
Feel better? Great. Let’s dig in.
Parenting Memes for the Over-40 Mom
1. My idea of rebellion now is not RSVPing to a kid’s birthday party until the last minute.
Sorry, not sorry. I’m just being practical. This kid could barf, and I’ll be texting regrets.
2. I don’t chase dreams anymore. I chase my toddler with a half-eaten chicken nugget.
[Visual: Mom in robe sprinting, child mid-air.]
My Fitbit calls it a workout. I call it Tuesday.
3. Me at 43: “How bad could one bounce house birthday party be?”
My knees: “Fatal.”
Just watch from the sidelines. You’ve got nothing to prove.
4. I asked my doctor if my exhaustion was normal. He asked if I was a parent over 40. Touché.
True story. (Yes, I switched primary care providers.)
The Midlife Crisis Meme Collection (But Make It Moisturized)
5. I put on jeans today. Not real ones—but jeans-adjacent. That’s enough.
[Visual: Jeggings held up like a trophy.]
Whoever invented jeggings deserves a fifth spot on Mt. Rushmore.
6. Me in my 20s: shots! Me in my 40s: shots… of B12, collagen, and espresso.
Honestly, could’ve filed this under parenting, since my first thought now when I hear “shots” is MMR.
7. In my 40s, I’ve accepted that “doing it all” just means remembering 60% of it and pretending that’s fine.
They say memory is the second thing to go. I forget the first.
8. I used to pregame with tequila. Now I pregame with ibuprofen.
Waiting for the first celeb-branded anti-inflammatory.
9. In my 40s, I no longer fear FOMO. I crave JOMO: the Joy of Missing Out.
Nothing beats a canceled plan, cozy PJs, and full remote control custody.
10. My skincare routine now takes longer than my college thesis.
Moisturize. Exfoliate. Ice Roller. Serums. Eye cream. Repeat tomorrow. And don’t forget to moisturize your hands and neck. (Always the neck.)
Bonus Meme That Hits Too Close to Home
11. Nobody warns you that one day you’ll have a favorite spatula.
You know the one. Hand-wash only. And now that you’re a grown-ass adult? Buy two more. When you find something you love, you get it in every color.
Midlife parenting is weird. It’s wonderful. It’s often orthopedic.
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You’re doing great, mom. Just don’t forget to moisturize your neck.